I just found a note I had been looking for just recently…I had jotted it down many years ago when I was in what may be one of the darkest, lowest times of my life. I was angry at everything and everyone, and what had been one small issue in my life had ballooned and spread out into every single aspect of my life. My sophomore year of college was grueling, yet at the same time so very eye opening. God, knowing what I needed at the exact moment it would have the most impact, placed this verse and the cooresponding commentary in front of me:
Hebrew 12:15
See to it that no one missed the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
The commentary:
Like a small root that grows into a great tree, bitterness springs up in our hearts and overshadows even our deepest Christian relationships. A “bitter root” comes when we allow disappointment to grow into resentment, or when we nurse grudges over past hurts. Bitterness brings with it jealousy, dissension, and immorality. When the Holy Spirit fills us, however, he can heal the hurt that causes bitterness.
These words knocked me to the ground. All of it was me. All of a sudden I could see the progression that took place; the beginning all the way to the fruit of that bitterness I had allowed to grow up in my life. And it meant I was missing the grace of God and the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. Praise God; he opened my eyes and showed me how to climb out of the hole I had dug myself into so deep.